Dear love

Dear love

I don’remember exactly the day we’ve met… I know for a fact that it was summer, at 3:20 of the afternoon or something. And that you just smile and made a joke about my hair, just to impress the others, just to hide the feelings that where deep inside of you.

At the beginning we had a normal friendship, nothing too serious… we just hang out with other people, watch a movie, going at a random park in the city and so… you where focus on someone else…and I understood that, so I just smile patiently while you where having fun with your jokes, your loud laughs, and your stories.

After a while you started to look at me differently, you started to notice me. And I knew that somehow I had to take a chance and do whatever I could to keep your attention on me. We started to talk about all the things you loved, more than anything: your memories. The way you collected all the comic books with your best friend, the way your dad throw them away because of your grades, the way you listen to your music albums, the way you wrote letters to that girl on the beach club when you where just a kid, and she never replied. The way your dog died, the way you crashed a car so hard… but everything with a big smile on your silly face. And I started to wonder: “who does that?” “how can you live like this?” so I stayed, just to understand those questions, just to learn how to live without dying.

We joke around most of the time, even in your bed, when I hide behind your blanket and you started to tickle me so hard that I couldn’t even breathe. Sometimes we started randomly singing on the streets, while everyone's watching, but we couldn’t care less.

We build a beautiful relationship, based on our sense of humor, our imagination and our two painfully-different personalities, that completed us.

I have to confess, I thought about you all the time, imaging the moment when I had to say goodbye to you for some reason. That scared me most of the time, but I knew that our love will last forever, so I tried to make a silly joke about that to myself and kept going. So I started to build a whole future with your presence, with every detail that you could imagine…

But things never turn out the way you wanted to…

First you started to lose your nerve because of silly things, but it didn’t bother me that much, I thought that it was the country's situation that worried you, so I try to be patient with that…so I stayed.

Later you started to lose yourself, you stopped talking the way you used to, you started to show less interested in deepest conversations. Sometimes I tried to start a new topic, but you always found a way of finish the subject before it begins, so I stopped talking, but I stayed.

The only thing that remained in you was your laugh. It was a little bit shy, but it was there. So, I stayed with you no matter what, you where my first love, and I could hear you laugh forever, if it was the only thing I could hear from you.

But things got really complicated, you started to lose weight, you didn’t sing, didn’t laugh, you wouldn’t even call me for my name, I was just another stranger to you. But I stayed.

I remember one day, you told me that you believed in reincarnation, that we have the power to return to this world, and do greater things. So tell me… do you think that we will meet each other again? And finish what we started on this life?

Dear love, I still remember the day you left me. The sun was up, it stopped raining for some reason. You where about to silently say goodbye to me, and I couldn’t do anything, you've made a decision…

Dear love, I can still repeat my last words to you before you leave. And I think I will remember this words forever…

Dear love… I will always be repeating this words to myself… I will always say: “thank you, for being my father, you where the best of the whole world, I love you daddy”

Xoxo

Silvia

Your second daughter